17 Apr '17 — Finding a life that makes sense
Exactly a year ago I started to write personal thoughts.
Prior to that, I wrote about fashion and design from a less personal voice. I was attempting to 'create' an identity/brand--someone who had 'good taste'. Like many, I wanted an aspirational lifestyle blog.
I grew out of the phase. I have no interest in making others jealous.
These days, I'm far more fascinated with life. There's so many awkward moments, so much internal turmoil. Life is a multi-dimensional roller coaster that I hadn't been enjoying to this extent until now.
I might jump from writing about home design to a video on food. While I've restricted myself in the past on what I post, I'm not going to anymore.
Everything I do here is me.
The one thing I've left out is who I am. I'm a person who spent her twenties doing things others approved. I didn't know what I wanted.
I moved to New York (everyone said it's cool, but I wasn't sure and I didn't have any idea where I wanted to live), I worked at startups in roles that required analytics (my peers considered spreadsheet work more prestigious, I wasn't sure why), and I got into yoga (that was trendy back then).
During that period, nothing made sense. I didn't know what I was suppose to be doing and I didn't know why others were driven to like popular things.
I spent an entire decade uneasy. Is what I'm doing respectable? Or should I do that other thing that seems to be rising in popularity? If so many people all agree something is respectable and cool, they cannot be wrong?
They were wrong in terms of what was right for me. When I realized this, I restarted.
Creating things for this blog, from home designs to food videos, all make sense--to me.
I can't describe why they make sense, but it feels right. Far more right than anything I did before.