Limit My Options

— Scared to read

For the past few weeks, I borrowed only two books from the library. It’s nice to alternate.

I got excited during my following library visit since I hadn’t read so much in a while.

Six books, however, is far too many. I don’t know where to start.

Opening a book, I feel there’s not enough time. I have five waiting! All need to be done in three weeks!

I really don’t need to get through any but I feel pressure.

It’s like being on the internet. I only scroll through articles because I’m excited to read the next. I can’t concentrate because there’s always a link that seems more interesting.

The more options, the stronger I fear missing out. Are these additional books and articles really ‘options’ if I don’t have a chance to sink into them?

Perhaps it’s more of an illusion that there are so many options. Many books and articles have attractive titles, but once you start reading you realize they aren’t worth reading. The pressure comes from an illusion.

How can I adjust to such a strong illusion? Patiently bear with unease as I read each book? Perhaps next time, I’ll remember to simplify things and check less books.

journal

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Anyone wish they take the holidays more seriously?

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Undone Pain

A horror enshrouded in hopelessness

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