Give the Bad a Chance
13 Jul '17 — Questioning my bias
The first thought I had this morning was 'why do I think people who are mean to me are bad?'.
Yesterday, I read multiple chapters of The Brothers Karamozov. There were so many interactions where a person was liked or disliked based on how favorably the person who's judging was treated.
In one scene there was a lady who invited a young woman to her house. The lady enjoyed the woman's company, called her a sweet angel until the woman insulted her. How does one go from being an angel to being a slut in the span of a few minutes?
It's a flaw to determine someone's character based on the few interactions I've had with them. Although I can rationalize how irrational my perception is, I cannot help but be biased. Is there a way to overcome this?
Also, am I so self interested that I lose my ability think?
I can see where this biased behavior comes from. I am afraid of being taken advantage of. I'm a afraid of being a pushover, I'm afraid of getting hurt.
All the things I'm afraid of have happened. Most of the time, they've happened with people I judged were 'good'. Those who persuade me that they've got my interest in mind allow me to let my guard down. A 'mean' person has less of a chance in achieving advantage over me.
Following the logic of my fear, shouldn't be more worried about the 'good' people in my life? Why don't I give the 'bad' at least an equal chance?