Choices Clear as Day
29 Dec '17 — In husband I trust
I tell my husband my inner workings. Especially when it pertains to other people. I tell him how I read others, how I understand motives and desires. Then I tell him what I believe are the best steps forward.
This morning I felt I made a mistake sharing.
For the past two years, my dad wanted to gift us a trip to Japan. He was so inspired by his last trip that whenever I talk to him, he asks for our travel dates.
My husband and I have discussed traveling to Japan many times. Each time, we both came to the understanding that we’d rather be at home. Of course we’d have fun, but why bother? Life is good.
This morning, I thought, ‘Why not? Why not make my dad happy and go? I know we’d have a good time.’
“Maybe we should do it because my dad has been talking so much about it. I think he’d enjoy knowing that we went.”
My husband sighed with deep disappointment.
I was surprised. “I thought you didn’t care whether we went.”
“It’s just not a good reason.”
Is my husband uncomfortable with this gift? Why hadn’t I considered his feelings? Why did I have to work out my logic in front of him?
I felt alone. There’s no companion who can attend all the inner workings of life.
A breakfast later I got my husband’s message. I was never left alone even when the situation effected him.
We are not here to make sure people are disappointed. We live to do things we want to do.
If we don’t passionately want to go to Japan–than it’s not for us. Although I want to protect my father’s feelings, it’s not for me to protect.
I was driven by fear. The one thing that enslaves the majority of the population. I was afraid my dad wouldn’t get what he wants.
‘He’ll be disappointed.’
I recall someone suggesting a method that helped them focus on what matters:
“How much are you doing this because you don’t feel like disappointing someone?”
All of a sudden, the choice becomes clearer than day.