Bad Habit

— my fancy car

I like to be punctual because I don’t want people to think that I’m a non-punctual type of person. But if I were free to do whatever I please, I’d never be on time.

Being on time doesn’t make me more or less reliable, it just reflects how prone I am to how I’m perceived. It’s not necessarily good.

It’s easy to critique a person for buying a fancy car. But a person who feels a strong need to be punctual? The behavior also props up self esteem. Yet, hardly anyone says anything bad.

Being punctual is something ‘a considerate person’ would do. I encourage behavior that contributes to a lower self esteem by being on time when I don’t want to be. It’s as empty as buying expensive things to show off. You end up doing it again and again–never enough.

I’m not getting ridiculed for it so I let myself continue to be on time. I even feel righteous. ‘I’m so much more reliable. I’m so much more considerate.’

I’m not anyone important, I don’t have a tight schedule of meetings. Anyone who needs to meet me will more than likely not be on time. No one I meet up with feels the need to impress me with the appearance of being reliable.

Perhaps it’s time to not be on time.

After so many years of being on time, I don’t know if I can tell people I will get there when I’m there, I’ll meet you when I meet you.

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