11 Mar '17 — Escaping 'content calendar' type of writing
“The writer is that person who, embarking upon her task, does not know what to do.” - Donald Barthelme
When I started this blog, I thought I needed a content calendar. A responsible adult isn't willy nilly about projects they're working on. Mondays are about food, Tuesdays are about home interiors, Fridays are cool links...
I fell into and out of this program. It would work for a week, then I'd become unhappy. The excitement in writing about something scheduled, rather than something I found interesting that day, is so different.
Who can reduce a post into a categorical subject? I often have a hard time knowing which category is most appropriate. Whether it's art, cooking or tv shows, every post is about me, a commentary on life in reference to different topics.
Feeling professional, organized like an adult, is just a feeling, like any other. During the few times when I was 'efficiently' working with a content calendar, I felt confident in my 'professionalism'. Outside those moments, I feel like a schleppy failure who can't get her shit together.
It feels good to be empowered. But the feeling comes from working mechanically. I felt my thoughts, the ideas I'm actually here to share, become lackluster.
In non-mechanical writing or any creative work, you don't know where you'll end up. It's new. No one had a process, no one knows what it's like. You can't schedule it to come.
"Gerald Stern put it this way: 'If you start out to write a poem about two dogs fucking, and you write a poem about two dogs fucking – then you wrote a poem about two dogs fucking.' Einstein, always the smarty-pants, outdid them both: 'No worthy problem is ever solved in the plane of its original conception.' - George Saunders, 'What Writers Really Do When They Write'
While I constantly feel insecure about my work here, I have to feel that way. Will I have any more ideas tomorrow? We'll see. Honing confidence from being an 'organized professional' is not what I'm doing this for.