30 Apr '17 — Dreaming
I created menus in junior high. For my future cafe. I thought, 'If I start now, at the age of 12, in 10 years, I'll end up with a real cafe.'
I enjoyed making menus. Drawing borders and planning meals, I spent hours considering food pairings and menu presentation. But that was the extent of the work I accomplished.
Did I need to have an actual cafe? No, but my imagination was limited. Only people who have cafes have the right to make menus! It made no sense to be a menu maker without a cause.
After creating several food videos, I've realized that I have my cafe. Food is served regularly in a space and format that fits me.
Why do I have to live out desires in the way others have?
There were many times I locked myself into thinking I needed to start a restaurant or cafe. I wanted to celebrate food in a way that reflected my appreciation for cooking, baking and different flavors. About ten years ago, I worked at the Cheesecake Factory. I needed experience to open a food business.
After three weeks of hostessing, I quit from boredom. I got a job at a pastry shop cafe, where I learned how much I disliked producing food in bulk.
What is it about the cafe/restaurant industry that attracts me? Day to day operations were more than unappetizing. So much food is prepped and frozen to be reheated upon serving. The food industry is the opposite of what I thought cooking, baking and enjoying flavors were about. The colorful presentations of mouthwatering flavors, fresh ingredients, the comfort and enjoyment of absorbing calories in a nice, clean space...that wasn't the focus.
Working in the food industry made me question my interest. I like cooking and baking, but in small quantities. I like plating and presentation, but in small spaces. Color and mood is also something I enjoy playing with in setting a table. I find myself experimenting with similar concepts, lighting, color and mood, when I make short videos.
It's hard to understand a desire and figure out how it fits in your life. While people often say 'do what your heart desires', it takes a lot more consideration to figure out.